


Shipping Wars

by Lord_Byron_Mudkippington



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Gen, Humor, Implied DiaMari
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 03:56:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11820723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington/pseuds/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington
Summary: Dia and Kanan have a little argument about idols. Somewhat AU-ish taking place in Dia, Kanan, and Mari's first year at Uranohoshi, where the seven girls (minus Riko and Yoshiko) all know each other.





	Shipping Wars

"I don't think I heard you correctly, Kanan." Dia folded her hands together, leaning forward in her chair and staring at a squirming Kanan. "What exactly did you just say to me?"

"Ahaha... I-I didn't say anything, Dia." Kanan backed up from her position on the floor, trying to avoid looking at Dia. Though she knew her friend would never harm her, there was something in those eyes that could scare even the bravest of souls.

"If I recall correctly, you said, and I quote, 'I think EliUmi is a pretty cute pairing.'" Dia's eyes were burning with intense flames, so bright that they even made Mari shudder a bit. "Those were the exact words that came out of your unforgivable mouth, Kanan. Eli and Umi... as a pairing."

"W-Well, it's just a personal-"

"How dare you come into my house and say these things in my face!" Dia erupted, making both Kanan and Mari scurry back as Dia stood up from her chair. They knew that she was passionate about idols, but this was beyond belief.

"Y-You invited me over..." Kanan muttered weakly, not wanting to aggravate Dia any further.

"The holy pairing of Nozomi and Eli is a sacred bond between two lovers." Dia clasped her hands together, looking up reverently at the ceiling. "The love they hold for each other is so pure, it's impossible to not feel it in your very soul." Then she glanced back down, side-eyeing Kanan. "And yet here you are, in my room, speaking sacrilege like you know them!"

"B-But you've never met... Uh, never mind." This was not a can of worms Kanan wanted to open right now. "I-It's not that I think NozoEli is a bad pairing, Dia! I just think EliUmi is cute too. It's not a big deal."

"No big deal?! What things in common do those two have, huh? Tell me!"

"W-Well, they're both kinda strict, and they have friends who can be goofs something." This did not seem to abate Dia's fury.

"I don't think you understand how much Nozomi and Eli went through to get through where they are today. Love Live champions! You just can't... I won't..." Dia looked like she was about to blow a gasket. She may well have done it if it wasn't for the door to her room opening. Standing in the doorway was Ruby, a concerned look on her face.

"Dia, what's wrong? I heard shouting."

"Ruby, it's a tragedy. It's the worst thing that's ever been said in this house." Ruby's eyes widened as she covered her mouth. What horrific thing had been said there?

"E-Even worse than when dad swore after he tripped over your idol magazines?"

"Even worse!" Trying to calm her breathing, Dia went over to Ruby and laid a hand on her shoulder. "I think you'd better sit down for this. It may break your heart."

"Oh come on, Dia! This is ridiculous!" One sharp look from Dia shut Kanan up quick, though. She and Mari just watched as Dia led Ruby to her bed, sitting down next to her and squeezing her shoulder consolingly.

"Now I know you consider Kanan to be a dear friend." Kanan groaned with a hint of frustration. "But she..." Dia took another calming breath, knowing she needed to be strong for Ruby. "She ships EliUmi instead of NozoEli!"

At first the room was quiet, with everyone staring at the younger Kurosawa sister. Ruby was expressionless at first, just taking in all the new information. Then tears pricked at her eyes, and she threw herself against Dia's shoulder, crying loudly. Dia slowly rubbed her back, whispering that it'd be okay, while Kanan and Mari looked on in disbelief.

"H-How could you?!" Ruby sobbed out, pulling away from Dia to glare at Kanan. It was the most adorable glare they'd ever seen. "I-I thought we were friends!"

"W-We are friends, Ruby!" Kanan stuck her hands out in a gesture of surrender, feeling horrible for making Ruby cry. "A-All I said was Eli and Umi could go well together."

"There's no chemistry there!" Ruby suddenly left the bed and got on her feet, staring down Kanan with a look that she could've sworn was very Dia-like. Was that just something all Kurosawas could do? "Nozomi and Eli love each other! Didn't you see the picture of them in the marriage outfits? They're married, Kanan! Married! Why would Eli throw away such an amazing woman like Nozomi for Umi?"

"Th-They're not married, though." Kanan looked back at Mari, who had been quiet the entire time. "Mari, can you please back me up here?"

"Well, I think Nozomi and Eli are very shiny together!" Mari flashed a grin at Dia, who nodded solemnly. Then Mari looked at Kanan and mouthed 'sorry' her way.

"Traitor..." Well, it looked like she was alone in this fight. A fight that she hadn't even wanted to be a fight in the first place. It wouldn't be for long, though. Standing up, she pouted at the Kurosawas and, as a mature fifteen year old, she stuck her tongue out at them. "Just you wait, Dia. I'm going to get help, and I'll knock you off your NozoEli throne."

"Try me, Kanan. I glued myself to this throne." She stuck her tongue out in retaliation, and Ruby copied her sister. The three of them glared dagger at each other until Kanan backed out of the room. Well, she actually backed herself right into the wall, then rubbed her head and shot back one more glare before turning around so she could see where she was going. All the while, Mari was desperately trying not to die of laughter. Her friends were so ridiculous. She loved them so much.

* * *

"What's up, Kanan? Something wrong?" It was a question that didn't need to be asked. There was obviously something wrong, considering how she was pacing in a circle on the beach with grim determination. Both Chika and You had been called to meet her there, but Kanan hadn't given them a reason as to why. "Are you just gonna pace the entire time?"

"No. I mean, maybe." Kanan sighed and stopped pacing, turning to face her two childhood friends. Well, her first two childhood friends. "Look, Dia's being crazy right now."

"What else is new?" You smirked.

"I mean more crazy. All I said was that EliUmi would be cute-"

"Oh jeez Kanan, did you really say that to Dia?" You rolled her eyes, no longer wondering what was going on. "You know how crazy she gets about those idols. May as well have offered to toss Ruby in the ocean while you were at it."

"I know, but I thought she'd maybe understand that everyone has their own pairings that they enjoy. They're famous idols from the city, and they're not actually dating, so what's the harm?"

"What are you talking about?" Chika piped up, smiling at her two friends.

"Did you forget about idols again, Chika?" You shook her head fondly.

"Ehehe, yeah." Chika laughed and rubbed the back of her neck. "I kinda zone out when Dia talks about them."

"Anyway, I need your help." Kanan put a hand on each of their shoulders, a serious expression on her face. "I need you two to come with me and back me up when we talk to Dia. She just needs to understand that everyone has their own opinion on these things."

"Ehh, I dunno, Kanan. Dia's really scary..." Not that You was afraid of anyone, but Dia was no normal person. She was pretty sure that Dia had killed a man. "And besides, isn't it kinda weird to ship real people together?"

"You're not being a team player, You." Kanan sighed and turned to Chika. "What about you, Chika? Will you help me out?"

"Sure!" Chika smiled brightly, giving Kanan a thumbs up. "I love EliBoomi!"

"It's EliUmi."

"Whomi?"

"... We'll work on that."

* * *

After school the next day, Ruby was in her room studying with Hanamaru. The previous day's fight had been forgotten, and she hadn't even bothered to tell Hanamaru about it. Sure, she'd been upset, but it was a new day, with new things to do. It was better to leave things to Dia, who had spent last night creating a PowerPoint presentation about how NozoEli was better than EliUmi.

When the doorbell rang, she was sure that Dia would answer it, so she kept studying. After a minute, it rang again, which surprised Ruby. Dia was always so prompt with answering the door. Looked like it was up to her to answer it. "I'll be right back, Hanamaru." She stood up and smiled at her friend, then went to the door and looked through the peephole. Safety first.

On the porch stood Kanan, Chika, and You. Since she knew them, Ruby opened the door. "Hi! Are you three here to see..." Then it occurred to her just why they would be there. Her smile fell immediately. "You're here about the shipping war, aren't you?"

"Yes. Can we speak to Dia, please?" Ruby sighed but complied, allowing the three of them entrance. Then the four of them went to Dia's room, where Ruby knocked on the door.

"Sis? The traitor is here." Kanan rolled her eyes at the nickname, but didn't say anything.

"Uh, alright! Let me get the PowerPoint ready! Just tell her to stay in the living room!" Chika and You looked at each other, wondering why Dia sounded so harried. They even heard her murmuring something, though it was so quiet that even pressing their ears against the door yielded nothing. Then they were given light swats on the arm from Ruby.

"You heard my big sis. To the living room, all of you!" She really could be like her sister when the moment popped up. The three of them scrambled over to the living room, while Ruby went to fetch Hanamaru. It was time for a throwdown.

Dia exited her room, her laptop under her arm. She joined the others in the living room, putting her laptop down on the coffee table and opening it up. "Once Mari gets here, we can begin our discussion."

"Wait, you really made a PowerPoint?" Chika groaned, flopping down on top of You's lap. "Aww, that's so lame! I don't want a lecture after school!" Dia narrowed her eyes, about to admonish Chika before Mari bounded in with a big smile on her face.

"I'm here! So we can get this party started!" She went over and slung an arm across Dia's shoulders. "You know, instead of a lecture, we could do a game of water chicken! Everybody has their bikinis, right?"

"Mari! I worked hard on the PowerPoint! Why is everyone being so rude?" Dia pouted at all of them, folding her arms. "My house, my rules."

"You know what, Dia? No." Kanan stood up defiantly, getting a round of gasps from the younger ones. "I brought Chika and You here to stand beside me, and we're going first." Dia stiffened at this bout of defiance, but she just nodded and allowed them to go first. "Isn't this getting a bit ridiculous? One pairing isn't better than another, and they don't define us, right?"

"Kanan's right." You was the next one to chime in. "This has gotten out of hand. Can't we all agree to disagree?"

"No." Dia was resolute, eyeing them with a steely gaze.

"Alright, then I will destroy you." Kanan returned her steely gaze, shocking Chika and You. What happened to making peace? "I may not have a fancy PowerPoint, but I'll still take you down, Dia."

"Hah! You will bow before the might of NozoEli!" Dia grinned confidently as she booted up the presentation.

"Come on Dia, do we really need the PowerPoint?" Mari laughed, hugging Dia back to her side. "We could discuss it over hamburgers, right?"

"I worked all night on this, Mari," Dia whispered harshly, leaning into Mari's ear. "If you don't let me show this, good luck getting into my pants tonight." Mari froze, thinking about her chances slowly slipping away.

"H-Haha, I can't wait to see your presentation, Dia! I'm sure it's the shiniest thing ever!" Satisfied, Dia smirked and began her presentation. "So let's start with the commonality of friends to lovers."

"Ughhh," Chika groaned. "Can I die instead?"

"Save all questions for the end of the presentation!"

* * *

Dia's presentation was long and thorough. Mari had to fight to stay awake, if only for a potential victory 'celebration' later on that night. Chika was already conked out, while Kanan stared on with determination. Only Ruby seemed genuinely interested in the presentation, while Hanamaru was excited by how the computer worked.

After it was finished, Kanan tried to make points about EliUmi, but Dia kept interrupting her with various Muse anecdotes. It made Kanan mad enough that they began arguing again, and pulling the others into said argument. Nobody else wanted to get involved, but they were unwilling participants in this mess.

"Okay, so it's three for NozoEli..."

"And three for EliUmi..." Dia and Kanan looked at each other, then their gazes went straight to Hanamaru. She had been staring at the computer, but she looked up when she felt six pairs of eyes on her.

"Z-Zura?"

"Hanamaru! Which pairing do you like best?" Both Dia and Kanan rushed over to her, trapping her on the couch. "You know that NozoEli is the superior, sensible answer, right?"

"Don't let her bully you, Hanamaru! You don't have to like what everyone else does!" Hanamaru looked between each of them, shrinking back into the couch as far as she could. Then she felt someone touching her shoulder, and she looked into the calming face of Ruby.

"It's okay, Hanamaru. Pick whichever pairing you like the best." Ruby's calming demeanor put Hanamaru at ease, and it also helped abate the loud campaigning of Dia and Kanan. Now it felt like she could breathe again, and she could make her own decision. Silently thanking Ruby, she thought on everything Ruby had told her about idols.

"Hmm... My favorite pairing is..." Everyone leaned in closer. "Rin and Hanayo, zura!" Everyone else collapsed onto each other.

"Well, they are really cute together." Ruby smiled, rubbing Hanamaru's shoulder. The others murmured their agreements, except for Chika, who had slept through all the commotion. She was still laying on You's lap, keeping the other girl incapacitated.

"Uh, anyone wanna help me out here?"

"Sure!" Mari grinned, cupping her hands around her mouth and leaning down next to Chika. "Some!"

Chika shot up off of You's lap. "Body once told me!" She then noticed everyone staring at her. "Huh? Oh, did I sleep through the entire argument?"

"Yeah, but it's over now." Kanan smiled and gave Dia a hug. "I think Hanamaru made all the tension go away."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." All the anger that Dia had held seemed to be washed away from the pure innocence of Hanamaru. "I'm sure there's common ground between us, no matter what pairing we like."

"Exactly!" Mari smiled broadly, joining in with the hug. "Now we can all forget this silly spat ever happened."

"Mari's right." Everybody could breathe a sigh of relief now that Hurricane Dia was no longer on the warpath. "Besides, at least we can all agree that Nico is worst girl."

"Ahaha..." Kanan gulped, laughing awkwardly. "Yeah..." Her tone spoke otherwise, and it caught Dia's attention.

"Hmm? Do you have something to say, Kanan?"

"Well, I..." Behind her, Chika and You were desperately gesturing for her to shut up. "I kinda like Nico."

"You... like Nico?"

"Well, her story's really sad, isn't it? I mean, she has to support her family, and they look up to her so much-"

"Unbelievable!" Dia roared, sending Kanan scurrying behind Mari to hide. "Nico is such a bullheaded, mean-spirited person who tried to destroy Muse, the greatest musical group to ever exist, before they even began! How can you even say this to me?! In my house! That's it, I'm making a PowerPoint."

"Oh no Dia, please, not another one!" Kanan begged, but it was no use. Dia had already picked up her laptop and stormed away, with Kanan hurriedly following her. "Remember when Nico anointed Hanayo as the idol club president? That was really nice, wasn't it?"

"I don't want to hear this from you, Miss EliUmi lover!" Their arguing continued until the door was slammed shut, leaving everyone else sitting there awkwardly. While the others looked between each other with a mixture of worry and resignation, Mari sighed to herself.

"Well, at least angry sex is better than no sex."


End file.
